mixed emotions

It’s been another one of those weeks, my heart aches.
Of tears, sadness, and joy. 

I been praying for the last few weeks for one of our teens, she LOVES books, and maybe loves is an understatement. I really wanted to try to find a way to help her, but I don’t have any books, and the ones that my mom has she’s already read. So I prayed, I prayed for books for her. Today, a coworker brought in some books for the kids (they were her kids old books), I went through the books and found some novel series. I quickly grabbed her mom and they haven’t read them!! I was so happy, God heard my prayers. Then later while I was in her room more novels were brought in they were from a doctors daughter. For a total of 11 new novels. -This will probably last her 3-4 weeks. She had a huge smile on her face, she was so excited and had something to look forward too. Thank you Lord.

And yet today, while I was thanking Jesus, I turned around and saw a family, saw tears, and thought why? It just feels that this is happening too often, tears of sadness, tears of remembrance, tears of the unknown. But I know, I know that Jesus is there with open arms to welcome these kids home. That He removes all pain, and sadness from their hearts. That they smile, laugh, and skip around with Him. But I don’t see that, its just what I know. I see sadness, and it breaks my heart, and once again I try to help them in whatever why I can, and then I have to put a smile on my face and go into my kids rooms.

Its a hard cycle, and yet it feels like I dont know if I can ever get used to it, I don’t know if you’re even supposed to or if you just get numb. Support from my amazing coworkers comes out, everyone is more than willing and want to help each other.
It’s a wonderful feeling. 

So tonight I’ll pray for this family, and continue to pray for the other kids and families as well. Without my faith, I don’t think that I could do what I do. 


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